Jack had reached a point in his life where he could no longer wear a curtain without feeling deeply disappointed in himself.
He stood in the great hall of the vampire castle, took a long breath, and said, very clearly,
“I’m human.”
For a moment, nothing happened.
Then—
GASP.
Several vampires clutched their capes.
One dropped a goblet.
Beak’s lips curled into the smuggest smirk anyone had ever smirked.
“I knew it,” Beak said proudly.
Tommy squeaked, whispered, “I can’t handle this,” and fainted sideways.
Ben did not look up from his game.
“Cool,” Ben muttered. “Can this wait? I’m mid-level.”
Jack blinked. “You’re… not mad?”
Ben shrugged. “You weren’t annoying. That’s my main rule.”
Jack waited for something dramatic to happen.
Nothing did.
So Jack whistled.
Casually.
Then he walked past Beak, who was still celebrating in his head, and went straight out the front doors of the castle.
Beak screamed into his hat.
Back home, Jack stepped into the living room like someone who had survived something no one would ever believe.
Lucy was sitting on the couch.
“So,” she said, without looking up, “why’d you go to the vampire castle?”
Jack froze.
“…How do you know about the vampire castle?”
Lucy glanced at him. “Because I was there.”
Jack stared at her.
Lucy smiled. “I was Mira.”
Jack fainted.
He stayed unconscious for exactly twenty seconds.
When he woke up, he sat straight up. “YOU WERE MIRA?”
Lucy nodded. “Obviously.”
“But—but—you—WHY?”
Lucy shrugged. “Why did you put on a curtain and sneak into a castle full of vampires?”
Jack opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
Lucy leaned back. “Also, I can’t believe you were dumb enough to actually go inside.”
From the kitchen, Dad shouted, “WHY IS THE WASHING MACHINE TALKING?”
The washing machine replied calmly,
“PLEASE REMOVE SOCKS FROM MY EMOTIONAL SPACE.”
Mom facepalmed. Hard.
Jack leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “So you knew the whole time.”
“Yep.”
“You watched me almost get roasted.”
“Yep.”
“You let Beak chase me.”
Lucy grinned. “Absolutely.”
Jack sighed. “I risked my life.”
Lucy shrugged. “You survived.”
Somewhere far away, in a dark castle, a voice echoed:
🎵 “LET IT GOOOOO—LET IT GOOOOO—” 🎵
Jack closed his eyes.
He had stopped vampires.
He had fooled a castle.
And his little sister had beaten him at everything.
Honestly?
That felt about right.
THE END
🌀 What Just Happened?
- Jack finally admitted he was human, and the vampires barely cared.
- Beak celebrated, Tommy fainted, and Ben kept gaming.
- Jack casually walked out of the vampire castle forever.
- Lucy revealed she was Mira the whole time.
- Jack survived vampires, chaos, and his little sister.
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