By the next weekend, the Johnson family was mostly settled.
Boxes were unpacked, the golden couch had been retired to the garage, and the neighbors had finally stopped staring every time someone screamed.
So, naturally, Mom decided it was the perfect time to host a friendly lunch.
“It’s our chance to make a good impression,” she said brightly.
Jamie snorted. “You mean our first impression didn’t do that already?”
Mom shot her a look. “That was… practice.”
In the kitchen, Mom and Aunt Bella were busy baking cupcakes. Or at least, they were supposed to be.
“Bella, I said one teaspoon of sugar!” Mom cried.
“I measured it!” Aunt Bella snapped, holding up a spoon.
“That’s a tablespoon!”
“They both have spoon in the name!”
Within minutes, flour was in the air, sugar was on the counter, and both of them were accusing each other of “sabotage.”
Meanwhile, Dad was in the living room giving one of his pep talks. “All right, everyone. The neighbors will be here any minute. Please, just this once, act normal.”
“Define normal,” Max said.
Dad sighed. “Quiet. Calm. Civilized.”
“Ah,” Grandma said from the couch, sipping her tea. “So basically impossible.”
The doorbell rang.
Everyone straightened instantly, plastering on their best “we’re totally normal” smiles.
The neighbors, a polite couple named the Parkers, stepped in cautiously. “Hello! We’re so glad to finally meet you.”
Mom smiled warmly. “Welcome! Please come in. We made cupcakes!”
The Parkers sat at the table, looking around at the cheerful chaos of the Johnson household. Amazingly, for a few minutes, things were peaceful.
The kids smiled. The adults chatted. Even Grandma behaved.
And then—
Max got bored.
He leaned back in his chair, stared at the mountain of cupcakes on the table, and grinned.
Without thinking, he picked one up, aimed across the table, and threw it.
SPLAT!
The cupcake hit Uncle Jake square in the face.
The entire room froze.
Uncle Jake blinked, slowly wiped frosting from his cheek, and said in a dangerously calm voice, “Oh. It’s war.”
He grabbed a cupcake of his own and hurled it across the table.
“Duck!” Max shouted, literally ducking.
The cupcake whizzed over his head and hit Aunt Bella right on her perfectly curled hair.
She gasped. “Who—who did that?!”
Uncle Jake pointed at Max. “Him!”
Max pointed back. “Liar!”
Mom shrieked, “Stop it, both of you!”
But it was too late.
Another cupcake flew out the window this time.
Outside, the mailman was just walking past, humming a tune.
PLOP!
A chocolate cupcake hit him square in the back of the head.
He froze, frosting dripping down his collar.
Inside, Uncle Jake said, “That wasn’t me!”
“It was your cupcake!” Dad shouted.
At the same moment, Uncle Sam stood up, trying to calm everyone down and somehow managed to get his head stuck in the back of his chair.
“Little help!” he cried, voice muffled. “I can’t see!”
Jamie tried to get up to help him, but as soon as she stood, her chair snapped.
She hit the floor with a thud. “I’m fine!” she said, voice muffled by a napkin.
Across the table, Sophie had already eaten three cupcakes and was licking her fingers. “Are there more?”
Mom stared at her. “Sophie, now is not the time—”
But Sophie was already reaching for another one.
Meanwhile, the neighbours sat frozen, wide-eyed, watching the chaos unfold like a live-action disaster movie.
Mr. Parker whispered, “Is this… normal for them?”
Mrs. Parker shook her head slowly. “I don’t want to find out.”
They stood up quietly, inching backward toward the door.
Dad, noticing them, turned too quickly and bumped into a pillow on the couch. It flew out the open window—
—and smacked the mailman. Again.
Outside, he shouted, “That’s it! I’m reporting this house to the post office!”
The door slammed. The Parkers were gone.
The Johnsons stood in silence, covered in frosting, crumbs, and chaos.
Dad’s eye twitched. “Well,” he said slowly, “that went… better than expected.”
Grandma rolled by on her skates, holding a cupcake. “I’d call that progress. No one caught fire this time.”
Jamie groaned. “Give it time.”
🌀 What Just Happened?
- Mom hosted a “friendly” lunch to impress the neighbors.
- Max started a cupcake war by hitting Uncle Jake in the face.
- Cupcakes flew everywhere, including onto Aunt Bella and the mailman.
- Uncle Sam got his head stuck in a chair and Jamie’s chair broke.
- The neighbors fled while the mailman threatened to report the house.
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