By the next day, the vampire castle was buzzing. Literally. Someone had broken a chandelier, and it was humming dangerously every time a bat flew by.
Most of the vampires were busy doing their own weird vampire things — polishing fangs, practicing dramatic poses in dusty mirrors, and arguing about who had the better coffin design.
Jack, however, was bored out of his skull.
He kicked a pebble across the floor and sighed. “So much for vampire adventures. I’m surrounded by immortals who do nothing but moisturize and complain about garlic bread.”
Just then, a vampire strutted past holding something shiny and plastic.
Jack squinted. “Wait a minute… is that the leader’s gaming controller?”
The vampire froze mid-step, clutching it tighter. “Mind your business, curtain boy.”
Jack grinned. “Oh, come on. Stealing someone’s controller? That’s not brave. That’s just… lazy villainy.”
The vampire glared. “I’ll have you know I am very brave.”
“Really?” Jack said, pretending to be impressed. “Because it doesn’t seem brave if you can’t even walk in the sunlight.”
The vampire’s red eyes narrowed. “Are you… challenging me?”
Jack crossed his arms. “I mean, if the shoe fits. Or, you know, melts.”
“Fine!” the vampire snapped. “I’ll prove it! Watch and be amazed!”
Jack followed him toward the castle doors, trying not to laugh. “Oh, I’m watching.”
The vampire threw the doors open dramatically. Sunlight poured in, golden and deadly.
He hesitated. “It looks… bright.”
Jack smirked. “Scared?”
The vampire huffed. “Of course not! I fear nothing!”
He took one bold step into the light—
SIZZLE.
“AAAAH! MY TOE! MY BEAUTIFUL TOE!”
Smoke puffed up from his boot. He flailed, spun in a circle like a vampire ballerina, and fainted in slow motion.
Jack burst out laughing so hard he could barely breathe. “Oh no! The mighty vampire warrior defeated by… daylight savings!”
He was still laughing when someone tapped his shoulder.
It was Mira. Arms crossed. Eyebrow raised.
“Why,” she said slowly, “are you roasting vampires?”
Jack wiped his eyes. “Because it’s funny?”
“You’re going to get us both turned into bat snacks,” she sighed. “Also, next time you start a roast, at least invite me.”
Before Jack could reply, a voice echoed from the great hall.
“WHO ORDERED FIVE. HUNDRED. PIZZAS?!”
Every vampire froze.
From the corner, a sheepish voice said, “I thought it said five pieces!”
Ben’s head turned slowly, menacingly. Then he pointed toward the door.
“Into. The. Trash.”
The poor vampire groaned as two others threw him in the trash, muttering about “extra cheese” and “garlic crust betrayal.”
Mira smirked. “You see, Jack? Vampires don’t need humans to cause chaos. We do it just fine ourselves.”
Jack grinned. “Guess I picked the right team, then.”
“Yeah,” Mira said. “The losing one.”
And somewhere outside, the brave vampire who lost his toe twitched in the sunlight, mumbling weakly,
“Worth it…”
🌀 What Just Happened?
- The vampire castle turned into a loud, buzzing mess.
- Jack challenged a vampire’s bravery using sunlight.
- A vampire lost a toe and his dignity.
- Someone accidentally ordered 500 pizzas.
- One vampire was thrown into the trash over garlic crust.
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