The second store looked calmer.
That should have been Dad’s first warning.
Dad marched inside with confidence, scanning the shelves. “All right,” he said, “in and out. Teddy bear. Milk. Done.”
He spotted a teddy bear immediately.
It was enormous.
Not cute enormous.
Not huggable enormous.
It was life-sized and mildly threatening enormous.
Dad stared at it. Then nodded. “Perfect.”
He grabbed it with both arms. The bear’s head flopped sideways, nearly knocking over a display of gift cards.
Meanwhile, Max had wandered off, which was his second mistake of the day.
He was walking past the toy section when—
THUMP.
A teddy bear hit him.
Max blinked.
A random kid stood a few feet away, holding another teddy bear.
Before Max could react, the kid threw it.
THUMP.
Then another.
THUMP.
Max raised his arms. “HEY, HEY! What is this, a bear ambush?!”
Across the aisle, Dad turned just in time to see Max grab the giant teddy bear from his arms.
“Wait—Max—!”
Too late.
Max hurled the massive bear like a soft missile.
The kid ducked.
The teddy bear soared majestically through the air…
…and slammed directly into a passing employee.
The employee staggered backward, buried in fluff, and disappeared from view.
Silence.
Max whispered, “I regret nothing.”
Dad cleared his throat. “I still need milk.”
As if nothing had happened, Dad calmly retrieved the giant teddy bear from the stunned employee, tucked it under his arm, and headed toward the dairy section.
The bear was so big that it completely blocked his vision.
Dad walked forward confidently anyway.
Meanwhile, Max, now officially done with the toy aisle, wandered into the pillow aisle.
His mistake.
The moment he stepped inside, a familiar presence returned.
Grandpas.
A lot of them.
They moved as a group. Quiet. Determined.
Max tried to step aside.
Someone nudged him.
Then shoved.
Max lost balance and went flying—landing face-first into a massive display of pillows.
POOF.
Pillows exploded everywhere.
Max lay there, staring up at the ceiling. “Not again.”
Back in the dairy section, Dad grabbed the milk with one hand and adjusted the teddy bear with the other.
“All right,” he muttered, “let’s find Max.”
He turned—
—and walked straight into him.
Max had just stood up.
They collided.
Milk flew.
Dad stumbled.
Max tripped.
They both fell backward into the pillow pile.
The giant teddy bear toppled onto them like a fluffy avalanche.
They lay there, completely buried.
An employee nearby clapped slowly.
“Well done,” the employee said. “Ten out of ten.”
From under the teddy bear, Max groaned, “Dad?”
“Yes?”
“I never want to see a teddy bear again.”
Dad sighed. “At least Lilly will be happy.”
Max closed his eyes. “That bear is haunted.”
And somewhere far away, a grocery store employee was filing a report titled:
“The Johnsons. Again.”
🌀 What Just Happened?
- Dad chose a giant, slightly terrifying teddy bear like it was a normal purchase.
- Max got attacked by a random kid throwing teddy bears.
- Max launched the giant bear… straight into an employee.
- The pillow aisle returned—with grandpas—and Max caused another explosion.
- Dad and Max crashed into each other, creating a full teddy bear + pillow avalanche.
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